Inevitably, the new love interest doesn't quite like time I spend now and then with the ex, at the movies, at dinner, with family- it's a point of contention. So I had to ask, to ex or not to ex?
The b.f. and I had a pretty hilarious debate some weeks ago. "What's more intimate, going to the movies or having a drink with the ex"? The answer to me is pretty obvious- the atmosphere may be dark and quiet at the movies, but there's no alcohol and very little conversation or face to face time. It was an easy win. But the deeper truth of it is that either situation is precarious- it opens up the possibility that the ex may be called upon once again for comfort, friendship, a tryst- what have you. Spending time could be misconstrued by the other person- or used as an opportunity to test their former mate and how serious things may be with the new person. In extreme cases, maybe even sabotage. Hmmm.
It boils down to how much you trust your partner I fathom, and how open communication is between all parties involved. It can get pretty messy, I suspect downright hurtful- I'm having trouble with the whole thing and as the ex and I discussed (hell yes we talked about it)- why throw away a friendship/relationship that's lasted for over a decade to appease someone who's only been in your life a few months? I think it's even more complicated than that though. I love this guy and want him to know it- I show him rather than tell him- this would be one way to show him, I know. You already dumped the guy, now just walk away. Oy- seems cold.
I love the ex very much too, just in a different way- I don't want to hurt either of them so here I am- vexed. I hope the b.f. will just trust. I want things to work out between us- I am going to see how things go for now, but damn it- I feel bad!
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