Juggling....

The past two weeks have been pretty intense in the dating world. While I was away I corresponded with a few of the matches I thought had some potential. There are three worth noting.

R- Oakland. First off, a 6' Nicaraguan guy? He must have issues, turns out his ego is bigger than his mouth. I decided to give him a shot anyway and Friday night found us in Noe Valley drinking vodka at Bliss and me listening to him talk about work. What's with these workaholics? After a light dinner at Fresca I left him at Pink, don't think I'll be seeing him again.

S- San Francisco. Now here's a nice guy, laid back, funny and loves to explore the city. He happens to live in the Marina, and although I never used to like hanging out in this oh so pretentious community, I figure it's worth expanding my horizons. Turns out there are great restaurants and friendly bars, if you don't mind the LA types that hang out in them.

So far we've gone on two dates, the first was in North Beach, we met up at Mojito for a few drinks then I took him to Mangarosa for some of the best caipirinha's I've ever had. This Sunday we kept it low key and went to Blue Jay Cafe for brunch then went bowling in the Presidio- perfect second date, gotta get the activity in there to show off your talents. We ended the afternoon with a few glasses of wine and then headed to Grubb Steak for burgers- god I love that place, open until 4 am! So I'm wondering, what to do for the third date?

R- San Mateo. We met up last Thursday for dinner in San Mateo. He came to pick me up in a sports car, not a good sign. The first thing that comes to mind are what shortcomings is he compensating for? I was somewhat right, but we'll get to that. Over dinner, I realized what it is that I miss about Latin men, we don't have to struggle to find our common roots. Our stories and experiences however unique they may seem to us are actually quite common when coming up from immigrant parents. He just gets it and I don't have to explain myself. How different. We spent a little more time together and I'm thinking he's got some great qualities including the fact that he runs his own company, loves his family and is a very generous and kind man. He works a lot though, and I've been down that road before. We'll see how it goes, but he's definitely at the top of my list.

Kickin' it in DC

We were only here for a couple of days, but it was tons of fun...froze our butts off looking for the cherry blossoms in bloom and checking out the museums...enjoy the pics, onto New York.

Philadelphia men are hot!

I have never seen so many beautiful black men in my life...check this one out...but seriously, there were so many handsome and successul men of color that I realized I am living in the wrong city! So I didn't actually get to approach any of them as I found myself working damn near the whole time I was in Philly, but let me just say, thank you Philadelphia for the eye candy!

Travel Adventures, Part 1 of 4

This week I've been on a whirlwind tour of the country's best cities on the East Coast. I started last week in Chicago, which was pretty cold but nonetheless fun to explore. The city itself has quite a bit of history and I have to say, there were some very hot, young professional men-of all colors I tell you. I think I've been living in the wrong city! Can't wait to come back. However, my evening event for the three days I was there was at a Mayan restaurant where the Guatemalans sang karaoke. Got on a plane for NYC the next day. Maybe I'll get lucky there.

A Community Organizing Approach

So this week's trip to Chicago proved a setback in my 100 date goal. But it's been a nice break from meeting characters like the 'Biter' and the 'Grabber'. Instead I met the 'Organizer' and the 'Activist'. Just kidding, but as I sat through another empowering speech about how to organize leaders to draw up detailed plans to transform our communities and get what the community wants- a light goes on in my head...ding! Why not create a detailed work plan to get through these dates? Organizing is not that complicated of an effort. You need to talk to people, tell them about your project. Get them excited about it, listen to their take on it and when they offer advice or help, ask them to join in the effort...what can they contribute? What are their strengths? How can those strengths help you achieve your vision? I talk to my friends and enlist a few soldiers in this project- their enthusiasm rivals mine- I love it.

I quickly use my network to set something up for Friday night, yes- in Chicago - where I've never been before. I have a date with a guy my father met online through the Guatemalan web community. The guy knows my cousins somehow and will be picking me up and taking me to a Mayan party featuring....karaoke...huh? At least I didn't have to lift a finger, my dad did it for me! That was easy.

My next stop is New York, I'll be leaning on my facebook network to set some things up for me and have two very eligible bachelors I've recruited to my cause. Would I relocate for love? I happen to love New York so the answer is...definitely yes! Spanish Harlem here I come!

Date #6- the grabber

A. (Pleasant Hill). Found us in the Haight enjoying the cool bars and dive spots where hipsters and yupsters comingle with hippies and druggies. What a great neighborhood. I met the boy (yes he showed up in a backwards baseball cap and a gap sweatshirt- WTF?) at the Alembic, which sports some of the best signature rye and bourbon drinks around. My drink, Blood and Sand scared my date a little. He had an old fashioned- but he my dears is not. He should have ordered the grabber because he couldn't keep his hands off me. Not cool. This was the first time we'd met...WTF?

We got hungry and despite this overly affectionate guy, I didn't want to waste a trip to the Haight so we headed to Cha, Cha, Cha's- a must if you're bar hopping on Haight. We sat at the bar because despite that it was a Sunday night, the place was packed. We snagged two stools and commenced to drink a pitcher of sangria- yum! There I met the boyz in the 'hood. A. and D.- both from San Francisco and ghetto as hell. They were fun though. We sat there and talked about how nobody who grew up here lives here anymore. Turns out my date and D. went to high school together- what a small city. After, we headed to Club Deluxe to listen to Bossa Nova and enjoy a Spa Collins- whiskey no less- no wonder I'm not feeling so good today.

There, I realized that this kid is in no shape or form grown up yet, and honey I'm sorry but I'm done house breaking. Okay, so he's 29 right, what did I expect? I walked him to his car and he drove me to mine. I tried to get out and that's when he grabbed me for the 100th time that night to plant a wet kiss on my face- ick! Tip #46 for you guys- never, ever, ever, move in for the kiss unless she moves in too! You go 90%, she goes 10! Hasn't he seen Hitch? I got the hell out of there and heard him yell, "c'mon baby!"- oh hell no! I'm getting a little freaked out by the guys I'm meeting online. I think it's time to ask my friends for hook ups. What's up guys, hook a sista' up!

The de-balling of men

Later Saturday I found myself at Cigar Bar with live music and good drinks. Can I just tell you how many good looking men don't dance salsa? Eye candy everywhere, except I screwed up and had guy #1 come meet us at the bar. I know, I know, you don't bring sand to the beach, but I wanted someone to dance with and I am still trying to figure out whether or not this guy has dating potential. We ended up dancing the rest of the night despite that neither one of us is a great dancer. P. however is a great kisser. Smart, funny, entrepreneurial and a great kisser. We left the bar and had a drink at his place. Then, the talk.

It was a surreal experience. He told me about previous habits (cavorting is how he describes his lifestyle), that he's really looking to settle down but didn't really know me or where this was going. Can I just tell you all that I did not do the 'girl' thing and ask where we were headed? We were just sitting there having a drink- you'd think I was expecting a marriage proposal. Kidding aside though, I did appreciate that he was really up front right away about what he's looking for, how emotionally mature! It was what I needed to hear from the ex but he didn't have the balls to say. He was definitely de-balled, P. isn't. Deballing was described to me when a man is so concerned about not offending his date/woman and is confused as to how to behave, to open the door or not, to sleep together or not, to say what's on your mind or not. Interesting. A ball check is a must moving forward.

Despite or maybe because of the talk, at least he made me breakfast in the morning. What a guy. But I'm not feeling the 'butterflies' so to take my girlfriend's advice, I'm not going to force it, time to move on.