The Long Hot Summer...

You couldn't tame me, but you taught me.

I try not to crap in my own backyard but sometimes it can't be helped. Today was the day of exes. A little background...I met my last ex a few years ago, we both sit on a volunteer board, but haven't seen one another since the breakup in February. I anticipated a strange encounter and planned to bail before he showed up to today's event. Usually I'm not shy, but because of the way we left things I dreaded seeing him; wondering if all those feelings of hurt, disappointment, anger and maybe a little latent feelings for him would surface. Our brief exchange taught me a few lessons for today...after the breakup, there was little closure for me. I was trying to understand what happened and why things ended the way they did. It's not that we didn't get along, have a lot in common or spend a lot of time with one another. I think for him, he just wasn't in love...but, who really knows? What I realize now is that, sometimes you just don't get an answer, that sometimes it just is what it is and there's no explaining what you feel in your heart and your mind. The second thing I learned today? I was way too hot for him. LOL.

Double-X
The ex-ex and I hung out this afternoon. Our friendship is probably healthier than our actual relationship which lasted close to a decade, ever was. I didn't think I could ever stay friends nor want to spend time with someone I used to date. But this one's pretty unique. On the plus side, we can speak openly about our goals, dreams, fears and frustrations. We support each other with advice, and know each other really well, or at least well enough to see through each other's crap and know when the other person isn't being genuine. I can't say what exactly it is that works, but it does. Maybe it's because he was a terrible boyfriend, maybe it was because he never really grew up, who knows what is good, or what is bad? He's another lesson for today, when you take sex out of the picture, it really simplifies things.